Today was a bit of a non-event day. It started normally enough with the 5.40am alarm clock, the shock to the system as I got out of my nice cosy bed into the igloo of our house first thing in the morning, the further drop in temperature as I stood in the drive waiting for Larry to stop trying to get back in the house and get busy outside. The kids went to school. Larry can walk outside now he’s had his jags but he doesn’t like to so I just kind of drag him up the road. I came home, swept, mopped, did dishes then sat about until 3pm when it was time to go and get Alexander and Ruby again. I applied for another couple of jobs online and folded some washing and that was the sum total of my day. I am bored to bits. There are several factors that contribute to this
- the weather is crap – it’s fecking freezing, not in terms of outdoor temperature, I have been in much colder places, but it seems to come as a complete surprise to Victorians that it is going to be cold for three months of the year (no longer, please!!) so the houses are not insulated AT ALL, there is no double glazing, no radiators but lots of doors that don’t quite fit and expensive, but un-setable, blast heaters.
- we are at the arse-end of the town.
- all the people my age who are not chavs must be working because I never see anyone ‘normal’ and by normal I just mean someone who is not pushing a buggy with a baby drinking coke out of a baby bottle.
Anyway, I dragged Larry back to school to get the kids. We came home and I made them a snack which they ate while doing some spelling. Alexander was all cross about having to do spelling, claiming that I was wasting his time and he refused to play the game I had lovingly made the other day so instead I got him a piece of paper, made him spell five words and then write each one in a sentence. Although this took much longer, he much prefered it so we’ll just do that every day and Ruby can stick with the tiles I made.
I made dinner, yummy homemade pasta sauce and meatballs. Alexander wouldn’t eat the pasta and Ruby wouldn’t eat the meatballs (even though they are just yesterday’s burgers in a different shape!) so they swapped plates and finished each other’s dinners. Michael got home just as we were finishing but he was still finished his dinner before Alexander!
Ruby had Blossom Guides tonight so before we went I took Larry out for another drag. We went to the end of the road where there is a big open field – the sort of place dogs love with rocks to clamber over, swaying grasses, muddy puddles and miles of open space. I took Larry’s lead off so he could have a sniff about and he took off back to the house! *Sigh* I don’t know why I bother.
I didn’t stay at Blossom Guides tonight. I can’t remember if I said last week that I am going to volunteer as a leader there, well, I am but I need to jump through some hoops first so I thought that I would leave Ruby there tonight and let her find her feet on her own before I am there all the time, otherwise she may just always stay with me and not go and make other friends. While she was there we came back to Melton and did some shopping. There was no way we could get through the week with just a multipack of crisps, some yoghurt bars and a jar of nutella! By the time we had finished at the supermarket it was time to go back and get Ruby, well nearly, just enough time in between to stop at McDonalds for an ice cream.
Ruby had a lovely time at guides and they were both in bed and zonked as soon as we got home. Michael and I sat and watched some TV before heading to bed earlyish. He made the fatal mistake of asking ‘Are you alright?’ and suddenly I was crying. No, I am not alright, I am bored and lonely. I know it’s only a matter of time and that we’ve only been here for eight weeks but that is how it is just now. Now, Michael is a bit concerned that he comes across as a bit of a dick in my blog (his words, not mine!) but he is absolutely not, he gave me a cuddle, helped me rationalise and project forward (he has a really good thing that he does – imagine yourself in another 6 weeks, now jump forward 6 months etc) I imagine he felt pretty useless because after all he is away all day working, but just having him be the person he is, caring about me and telling me it *would* all get easier was just what I needed.
It *is* hard to be here, but this is what we wanted. It’s not a major thing, just a bump in the road.